no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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