that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
