i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize