one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
