I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
