if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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