WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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