So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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