What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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