i already hear my dad disowning me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize