My nipple is on Facebook.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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