So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
