You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize