Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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