i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
