The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize