I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
