Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
