and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
