I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
