Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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