i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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