I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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