I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
