Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
