Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just invented taco cereal.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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