ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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