I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
