what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
