dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
