So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
