Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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