nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
