whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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