playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They should really pass out barf bags in church
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
