two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
