I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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