I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
