i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
