Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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