I want to walk on stilts...naked
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
your like the ambassador to my penis.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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