I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
