Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
