I wanna passion pit in your ass
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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