Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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