Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
