i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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