Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
MIDGETS
????
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
