I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
