I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
