I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
