Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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