So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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