Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
