My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
