She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
